Dear Mom, The Reason I Don't Go To Church…

Dear Mom,
I have wanted to have this conversation with you for the longest time but, I kept deferring it because I didn’t want to hurt your feelings.  But when you came over to my house and saw my shrine, I figured the time was right for me to tell you the reason why I don’t go to church.

As you know, you raised me to be a thinking man. Well, I have done just that, and I thought about a lot of things that I have been taught when I was younger, which led me to discover a branch of philosophy called metaphysics. Metaphysics basically means beyond the physical, which in this case deals with looking at things and events from a more profound perspective.
Well, it was through metaphysics that I discovered that the human mind is composed of three parts called the conscious, subconscious and superconscious. The conscious mind is the part of our mind that makes decisions on what we want to do, so if you want to get a drink of water for example, then you simply make a decision and go get it. The subconscious is the part of the mind that governs all of our autonomous body functions, like the digestion of our food, the regulation of our heartbeat, the pumping of oxygen through our bloodstream, etc., and all our memories.  I will discuss the superconscious here later.
Usually when things are going well in our life, it is because we consciously make a decision to do something like what we want to eat, what we want to do, etc. and our subconscious is on board.  For instance, you want something to drink, the subconscious part of our being stimulates our body to get up and get something to drink and so on. When it comes to more serious issues like going to school, finishing a task, etc., the same applies. The conscious part of our being says, “I want to go school, finish this project, “etc. and the subconscious, which governs our body complies with our conscious mind’s will.
But there are times when the subconscious refuses to follow the commands given to it by the conscious. For example, when it comes to dieting, creating a constructive habit like exercising or breaking a destructive habit like overeating or late eating, and so on. These are prime examples of the subconscious refusing to follow the conscious’ commands. You see, the subconscious can only do what it has seen or learned from others. This means if a child grew up in a household hearing their parents argue over money. Then most likely, out of habit when the child grows up he or she is going to do the same thing rather they realize it or not. You see the subconscious will tell the child to do these things because it stores all of our memories based upon good and bad feelings, and this is where all of our problems begin. It is how our subconscious classifies or categorizes good and bad experiences based upon how we feel.
The good thing about our subconscious classifying good and bad based upon pleasure and pain is that when we feel fire we know to move our hand, which is good. So usually any time we get a sense that we are in danger, our subconscious gives us the motivation to get out of harm’s way, which is great.  The bad thing is that whenever we feel bad or depressed, our subconscious interprets this as danger as well and wants us to get out of harm’s way.  It wants us to feel good by any means, so it will tell us to overeat, indulge in sweets, have a drink, take some drugs, explore a sexual perversion, etc. to make us feel better. All because the subconscious lacks the ability to reason and make decisions, because remember, this is the function of the conscious part of our mind. This is the reason when we hear of people doing something that doesn’t make sense, it is because they were acting or better said reacting and responding to their subconscious emotions. As grand dad used to say, “They didn’t think.”
This means metaphysically speaking that most of the people who are suffering from some ailment, illness and having some problem in their life, it is because they are under the influence of their subconscious, which has made them slaves to their emotions. To be more specific we could call it habits and addictions.  So, when a person can’t control their anger it is because they are in the habit of acting out and flying off on the handle. An individual that overeats, overdrinks, etc. has basically developed a habit of using these behaviors as vices. So, the question that comes to mind of course is how do you stop it? How do you break a destructive habit? Well, the only way to break a destructive habit is by replacing it with a constructive habit, and here enters the superconscious.
The superconscious mind is the intuitive part of our being. It is the part that speaks to us and tells us that we probably shouldn’t engage in a particular behavior or should turn down another path to avoid an accident. The superconscious is the divine spark that exists within us all and whenever we make a decision to do something and stick to it. It is this part of our being that gives us the power to overcome any destructive habit we have partaken in.  It is the true problem solver in our life that gives us solutions to whatever troubles us through our dreams, hunches, visions, prophecies and even messages from others. So basically, in order to break a subconscious destructive habit, we simply need to replace it with a constructive superconscious habit.
How does this work?
Well, remember that time when I was ill? As you will recall, I was ill for several months, which meant that subconsciously my mind was in the habit of being sick. Consequently, I began to have ill thoughts along with feeling ill. As you can imagine, it is hard to pick yourself up and get back on the horse when you feel ill and everything around you seems so bleak. It is sort of like trying to stay optimistic and tell yourself that you will get better around 20 people who believe and will verbally say that you won’t get better. Yes, talk about developing will power.
Well, the remedy is to imagine how you would live if you were never ill.  In other words, what would you do if you weren’t ill? What are all the things that you would do if you never were ill at all? One of the things I imagined that I could do when my body was ill was running and dancing, because remember I could barely walk a few steps back then.  When you imagine this on a continuous basis and begin to act on faith of this prayer request. Healing is right around the corner. I remember when I sent forth my real prayer request and kept it in mind, one day I found myself dancing to some music that I liked and running down the stairs.  Now, this is not something that someone told me that works. It is something I know for a fact that works because I have used it several times on two different occasions and it worked for me.
Part of the reason why it worked is because the subconscious is very impressionable and will believe anything if it is convincing enough. This means that most people whose prayers go unanswered is not because God doesn’t approve of their request, but simply because most people don’t believe that their request will be fulfilled in the first place. They simply don’t have any faith, and regardless of what anyone says, “Seeing is believing”.  Most people will only believe that they are blessed after they are blessed. They will believe that they are healthy, after they are healed. They will believe they are prosperous after they get money and prosperity, which is all wrong.
You are supposed to see it first and believe it. Imagine being healthy and you will be healthy. Imagine being prosperous and you will be prosperous. Imagine being successful and you will be successful and so on, because the Divine works specifically through our superconscious mind. But, sometimes it is hard to keep your mind focused on your objective. Imagine having faith you will be healthy and your doctor tells you otherwise or some people you encounter aren’t encouraging. It is hard because the last thing you want to hear is what you can’t do from people who don’t have any faith in the superconscious, the divine spark of God within you or simply no faith in God.

The last place an individual that is sincerely praying to better their life wants to be is around a bunch of people who are believing and telling them that the reason they are ill, having problems controlling their anger or overcoming any destructive habit, etc. is because they have sinned, cursed, the wretched of the earth, etc.  Frankly, I didn’t need anyone theorizing to me why they think I got ill.  It wasn’t important because I just wanted to be healed, but the most negative, depressive and pessimistic people in our community are church going people. This is the reason our communities have at least ten churches within a mile radius, meanwhile poverty and crime are steady on the rise. Everyone it seems wants to be a pastor and wants to fight over who is right and wrong, but it is clear they have no spiritual power.  Going to church has simply become an empty tradition where people just go every Sunday or numerous days of the week, out of (subconscious) habit.
So, when you are trying to overcome an illness or some other destructive thing occurring in your life. You don’t want to hear about the drama going on in the choir, the kitchen, the drama between Deacon so-and-so and Missionary or Usher So-and-So, etc. You need to truly worship the God within you, which means keeping your mind stayed on your superconscious request and avoiding as many distractions as you possibly can. Including negative churchgoing folks. Yes, it is hard to live righteously.

Thankfully, Africans and other non-Westerners like the Native Americans, Chinese, etc. developed cultural ways and practices to help us focus and overcome this little dilemma, by tapping into the superconscious and utilizing it like a sixth sense. Understanding that one of the best ways to impress an idea or thought on our mind was by using symbols, various non-Western cultures created elaborate myths and legends full of archetypes. For instance, metaphysically speaking the subconscious was symbolized as the evil or bad part of humanity and the superconscious was seen as the good part.  Almost every non-Western culture has a version of this concept.  In fact, there is an old Cherokee story where a grandfather was sitting by the fire with his grandchildren and trying to teach them the difference between good and bad. The grandfather tells his grandchildren, “There is a good wolf and a bad wolf living inside each of us. The good wolf is love, compassion, courage, generosity, fortitude, discipline, laughter and every worthy virtue a human being is capable of. The bad wolf is anger, hatred, laziness, jealousy, envy, greed, sloth and other vices a human being is capable of. In each and every one of us, these two wolves are engaged in a fierce battle.”
The grandson asks, “Which wolf wins?”
The grandfather answered “The one you feed”

The one culture that made extensive use of symbolism in order to impress or program the mind were the Kamitic (Ancient Egyptians).  In the Kamitic culture, the good wolf is Osar (Asar, Ausar, Osiris) and the bad wolf is named Set (Seth, Set-an or Satan).  In the Kamitic legend, the righteous king Osar is overthrown by his envious youngest brother Set.  Set rules the kingdom with fear but is defeated only because the hero of the story Hru (Heru or Horus in Greek) relies on his Osar.  In other words, just like the Cherokee wolf proverb, Hru feeds or honors Osar instead of giving into Set.

I know this may seem strange, but the reason evil was personified was because many non-Western cultures understood evil to be man and woman’s ego, which is the part of our being that is excessively prideful, fights change (lazy) and lives in fear. (See Why is the Devil Winning?) So when a person wants to overcome an addiction, a negative habit, control their anger, etc. and is failing to do so, it is because they haven’t learned how to overcome their own devil. They are fighting their ego.
So, when you looked in my room and saw various statues on an altar, what you were actually seeing was a spiritual play that was designed to impress or program my subconscious and help me to overcome my own devil, my Set. I know it is not what you raised me to believe in or to do but, as I said in the beginning. I am a thinker and after considerable thought I had no choice but to practice the tradition that produces the best physical results.
So yes Mom, I still believe in God, but the reason I stopped going to church is because I have taken responsibility for my own soul and have chosen to cultivate my own spirit, in order to get the things I want out of life, instead of leaving it in the hands of another.
Hope you understand. Sincerely your loving child.